Train Deaf

The guy sitting next to me is listening to the music on his headphones SO LOUD, I can feel his SKULL rattle! It's loud enough that I could sing along, if I knew the words...

Cell Phone Comedy

4 women, sitting next to/across from each other, each one talking on a cell phone and giving each other dirty looks and yelling because they can't hear who is on their own phone...because they are each talking too loudly for the others to hear. It's comical!!!!! ("talk lower!" "what?" "shut up!" "YOU shut up!" "WHAT?")

Rappin' on th Rails

Young man starts "serenading" ME with a rap song! The song apparently goes: "I've been locked up a long time-I've been locked up a long, LONG time!" He is dancing mid-train and belting it out, and looking at me for approval. Then he stops mid-dance and says, "I'm not drunk, ya know..." Simon Cowell, where are you?

Romance, Horror, and the Bard

It's mercifully quiet on the train this morning. A lot of heads buried in paperbacks. I see two Rosamunde Pilcher novels, one Maeve Binchy, a student reading Stephen King...and a lady with purplish hair reading Hamlet.

Biker B--ch

I'm sitting close to the door at rear of train. Other riders/bikes near me. Girl gets on with bike and INSISTS I move out of my seat so she can sit next to her bike! Normally an overly- accommodating soul, she picked the WRONG day/night to push me. I'm not moving. We argue. She's in my face. Security intervenes. Brian-1, irrational bike rider-0. :)

"People on this train are CRAZY!"

Takes a lot of nerve: Older man is stepping very sl-o-o-wly off of the train at 59th St. Lady behind him turns around and shouts in his ear, " HURRY IT UP! YER SLOWIN' DOWN THE TRAIN! I GOTTA CATCH MAH BUS!" He is startled by her sharp yell, and he stumbles out the door. She turns back and sees us staring at her; she says "PEOPLE ON THIS TRAIN ARE CRAZY!!" Really? No kidding.